All I Long For

All I Long For

My soul will sing
My heart will cry out
My mouth will praise You
O Lord

You keep me safe
In the shelter of Your wings
Your voice
Is as soft as a whisper
And as loud as the raging seas

You take me by the hand
You guide me safely through
the dark times
And Your light shines upon the straight paths

Again my soul will sing
If only to know You
My heart will cry out
If only to hear Your voice
My mouth will praise You
For I desire to see your face

With everything within me
My very soul, my hearts cry.
My mouth full of praise
I need You
I really need You
I desire to do Your will
My heart longs for You
My every being
My whole existence
Depends on You

You are all I have got
All I need
And ultimately...
All I long for.

Poem by: Tamryn de Laborde



This is a poem I wrote over 10 years ago. I meant it for lyrics to a song but upon reading it yesterday I felt that it may just stay a poem.

There are so many times in life where we become discouraged in our lives. Be it crime, the world getting out of control, endless demands, stresses, housework and the list goes on. We feel that it is all meaningless and futile and why should we bother. We should just quit while we are ahead or just let the world carry on in the state it is in. If we let it this internal dialogue can really squeeze the last drops of joy out of even the most righteous.

Psalm 43 puts it so nicely.

1Vindicate me, O God,
And plead my cause against an ungodly nation;
Oh, deliver me from the deceitful and unjust man!
2 For You are the God of my strength;
Why do You cast me off?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?
3 Oh, send out Your light and Your truth!
Let them lead me;
Let them bring me to Your holy hill
And to Your tabernacle.
4 Then I will go to the altar of God,
To God my exceeding joy;
And on the harp I will praise You,
O God, my God.
5 Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

The enemy gets us down. He loves it when we wallow in self-doubt and pity. When we become discouraged with the task at hand and when we feel we should quit.
What are we to do in times where it seems as if we are in a dark hole with lions surrounding us and no where to go? What will happen if we never get out again?

I am so claustrophobic. See I even know how to spell it correctly.
I went on an outing with my family to the Karangahake Gorge. At the time it was darling hubby, myself and 3 of our kids. Two of the girls walked and I had the third (then a baby) in the front pack. And off we went to look at the remains of what was a really busy gold mine way back. The scenery was lovely. We had our torches ready and we went through some areas that were dark but I could still see the end of the tunnel we were in and that was ok. As long as I knew there was an exit and I could see the light I knew I would be fine. Then we came to the entrance of tunnel that had no windows and no end. Ugh. There was just no way I was going in there. My head started to ache at the thought of entering it and I started to feel queasy. My husband and my two daughters went in and loved it.

This is how things can be in our lives as we walk on this journey. God calls us to go into areas that aren't clearly lit. Places that are dark but the important thing to remember is that we do not go alone. God is never too far away that we cannot reach out to Him and call on Him in times of trouble.

Psalm 43 gives a clue as to how we can get out of these holes of depression and how we can soldier on in the hard times. He is praying to God and speaking to his soul saying God send me your light and your truth. Light shows us what is around us and truth uncovers lies and falsehoods. Our thoughts take us down a road. It blinds us and binds us in untruth. So focus on the fact that if you can see a way out then there is light and no darkness can hide in the light. When lies come and tell you that you are not good enough and not worthy enough and send you down a road of despair and discouragement remember that Jesus is the Way the Truth and the Life. He does not come to discourage you He comes to help you. So if He is truth then where are the lies coming from? Do not entertain them.

Next he says that when the light and truth come may they lead him and bring him to God, to the very feet of God where he finds his joy and where he will praise God and make music to Him. He then speaks to his soul having realised the truth about his despair, Why are you cast down, why are you so discouraged, sad and restless. Come on! Hope in God! Praise Him, He will help you.

At a ladies group last night we were asked what keeps us believing in God. I really feel that the poem I wrote sums it up. God has always been with me. He has always been there for me and has never let me fail. I am still here today because of Him. He directs my paths. He encourages me and loves me. And in return the relationship I have with Him is such that I cannot remember a time without Him in the past nor can I imagine a life without Him in my future. I feel that should God not exist I would cease to aswell. I may just unravel because He is what keeps this frail world together. He is the one who knit me together and saw my little body form in the dark hidden places that no man has seen or will ever fully understand.
Father God is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. Though my body may grow old and weak He will always be the strength I need to go on. If all things passed away and it was only me left, He will still be there. He is all I will ever need and all I will ever long for in this way.

God showed me something yesterday morning as I was returning from my walk. I had just come up a small hill and looking down the valley onto where my house was and I felt Him say, Stop and Look. I stopped and took a deep breath and looked out over the houses around my house, further up the hill and all around. I thought about all those people in the houses and how they live around me and have their own lives and go about their day. That is their space. The place where they live and breath. In their homes is warmth and family, happiness and sadness. They sleep and then rise maybe with a coffee to get them awake in the morning just like I do.
Then I imagined what this scene would be like in Heaven. If I took what I saw and placed it in Heaven. Would those houses be empty?
My relationship with Christ is so real to me and so precious and I just cannot imagine a life without Him. Yet there are so many who do live without Him and it saddens me because I want to so badly for everyone to have what I have. I can only pray that when I do meet people that do not know Him that I will be an ambassador of Heaven. That is my true home. I live here but I am not from here and I would like everyone to be going to the same home I will someday. Where my Saviour lives. Because a world without The Creator is just too awful to imagine.

Encouragement for today: If you know Christ and are going through some troubled times, Praise and seek His face and call to Him. He is never too far away from His children Psalm 55
If you do not yet know Christ, you may not understand this blog post or it has spoken to you in a way that you can not fully understand. Can I encourage you to ask God to reveal Himself to you. He will hear you and see you trying to find your way to Him. I pray that he will send light and truth to you so that you may see the path you are on and see Him more clearly. That you will find where He lives and that you will make His home yours. Matthew 7:7-8 Jesus says “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened."