The Joy of the Lord

And Nehemiah continued, “Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”

Nehemiah 8:10

I have not posted in a while and I have no real excuse. I guess with everything else I have been settling into I have yet to find and commit to a time to write. Hopefully Thursday will be a good day to commit to writing.

A scripture that has been meditating on and chewing over is Nehemiah 8:10. The words at the end of this passage are speaking louder and clearer to me at this time. The joy of the Lord of my strength. I have read this bit of the verse over and over. I thought it meant that God is always joyful and Him being joyful is what gives me strength, which is true but not in the way I thought. I always thought there had to be something else that this verse was saying.

Let me explain. If the fruits of the Spirit are Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control and Jesus says He gives us peace and not to be afraid in John 14:27 then doesn't that mean by sending us Holy Spirit we have these fruits? We have God's love, joy, peace, patience etc. inside us.

What I didn't realise was that the joy of the Lord isn't external but internal. I have His joy living in me and it is this that gives me strength to say it is well with my soul. His joy is what allows me to praise Him despite what is happening in my life.

This joy that we have gives us not only strength but courage and boldness. We can be bold, courageous and strong like lions. We need not fear or allow our emotions to rule our lives. Happiness, sadness, fear, anger are not permanent. One minute I can be angry and the next I can be sad. Today I could be fearful yet tomorrow I could be happy until I stub my toe on something. But the of Joy of the Lord is permanent. 

I am thankful that God is always there for me not just when I call out to Him. Like the Lion in this picture He is always singing over me and laughing over me. He rejoices when He sees me taking my first wobbly little steps in my art. He sees me trying to puzzle out His plan for me and He rejoices over you too. He sees what you go through. He sees your successes and your mistakes but He rejoices when you get back up and try again. Success is all about using you mistakes as a ladder to your promise.

Isn't it amazing that He doesn't let us fight out fears alone but that He gives us the joy so that we will be strong enough to overcome and succeed. 

Lord I thank you for your Joy in my heart. I thank you that even when I feel like there is nothing left in me I can still open my mouth and praise you and joy floods my soul and gives me the strength I need to get up and try again. I pray for joy to flood each and every one of Your people who are reading these words and bring a refreshing to their hearts and strength to every part of their being.

Have a blessed week and I will commit to writing once a week again as I enjoy it so much and I always have so much to say. 

Death and Hope

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4

I am saddened by the news this week. David Bowie and Alan Rickman both taken from this world at 69 following their battle with cancer. There have been many more actors and actresses who have had cancer.
I found out just the other day that Maggie Smith, who is still alive and kicking on Downton Abbey at 81 years of age, had also battled cancer while filming 'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince'.

Family members, friends of mine have cancer, survived cancer and died of cancer. It is so unbelievably sad. It is easy to lose hope and feel depressed and miserable and totally helpless.

I mean 69 isn't that old. These people thought they would at least live until their 80's. Alan Rickman's plan when he was 80 was to be sitting in his rocking chair reading a Harry Potter book. "Death comes to us all in the end" and that is so true. We are all going to die.

I know I am only 32 and still young but I can't help but reflect on my life and the life I have left and ponder it. I don't have 100 years left anymore if I am to live to 120 as I have planned. I used to. I used to have plenty of time. But now I can say that I remember what my life was like 20 years ago. In 20 years time I will be 52 and my daughters will be starting their families. I expect that their may even be some grandkids by then and well then it is only 17 years until I am 69. (Sorry I do the maths thing a lot)

If you knew at 32 that you only had 37 years left what would you do with it? Our lives are so short.

So where is the hope then? The hope is right there under our noses. Life may be short and we don't know how long we will have left but there is so much we can pack into that time. David Bowie has done incredible things in his 69 years. What is left behind is what people remember about him. His life, his journey, who he was that no one else could ever be.
Alan Rickman has a list of accomplishments that is longer than my arm and a voice unique and one that will not be heard again. His acting was amazing both on stage and on screen.

My hope is that God is going to use me to do a whole list of amazing things that only I can do and be.
I have this written at the beginning of my diary for this year. "You are useful and priceless. Destined for great things.

When I die I will die emptied out of all that I was put on this earth to do. I will pass from this world at peace knowing that I contributed to this world and made it a better place to live in at least to those who heard me and met me. Though my physical life on this earth is just a brief moment in the entire history of mankind, my spiritual life goes on forever.

Don't let the enemy cloud your thinking and tell you that you haven't accomplished anything and that you never will. I have had that nonsense poured into my thinking for far too long. I could fill a book  or two with what I have accomplished and what I am yet to do.
He so desperately wants you too give up and do nothing because he is so scared of you. He doesn't know what it is you will do in your life but he knows that whatever you do will be powerful and will upset his plans in your life and the lives of others. You are known and the Heavens tremble.

Here is to 2016. A year of amazing and great leaps of faith and risk taking. Stepping out into the things we have been carrying and nurturing for so long.

There is hope in death. Live your life to the full everyday. Enjoy your life and be with those you love.

2016 is going to be a great year. Probably the best year we have ever seen. I just sense that there is going to be an increase in healing and miracles, signs and wonders. God is opening up the gates of His Spirit, His power and His favour. It is time. Resist the devil and he will flee. I feel we have turned a corner but more we have done an about-face or U-turn. For years we have been running and resisting the onslaught of the enemy. Going on with our lives just trying to win ground and cope with the next onslaught but this year will be an about-face year. We are turning and facing the other direction. No longer are we on the defence we are now on the offence and the only one running away is the enemy.
You will stop fighting in your own strength, trying to defend yourself against the arrows and you will take up the armour of God and turn and the enemy will flee.

Making Mistakes

Psalm 37:24

Though they stumble, they will never fall,

    for the Lord holds them by the hand.


I have not posted in a long while. Some of the reason is that I have been busy but the main reason is that at this time of the year from September to December I think about my life and what needs to change and what I need to stop doing.

So yes I took a bit of a break while I thought on these things.

2016 will be a very different year but I do feel I am stepping into something really good. The last 2 years have been really crazy. I have been trying to figure out where I fit and what God wants me to do and all I have been feeling is pushed from one corner to the other without making any head-way.

This year I spent most of my time on my art. I studied through Inflame Ministries through their Creative Arts Program. They have two streams, Songwriting and Painting. Although I have been a singer all my life, have written a few simple songs and play the guitar with a small amount of effort, I have also been very expressive with pencil and paper and had enjoyed watercolour paint. I decided after having painted a watercolour from a vision I had and having had a radical confirmation of this vision and painting that I might actually have something there that needs to be looked into and maybe developed.

One of the main things I have learned over the last year is about mistakes. I have learned that in my life I have learned more from making mistakes than from trying to be perfect and not make any mistakes.

I have always tried to impress and be liked through perfection and never ever making a mistake.
Mistakes are frowned upon in our culture. The consequences of making a mistake is usually met with guilt and shame rather than an opportunity to learn and experiment.

The other day I was driving and made a mistake and went over the speed limit by 7ks. Ordinarily when I realise I am going to fast I immediately slow down but this time it didn't help for as soon as I realised a Policeman had put his lights on and motioned for me to pull over. School Zone and that means zero tolerance.
I sat there as he went to go print out the ticket and I thought about my nice clean driving record which was now gone. I had so much pride in it and now after a mistake I had lost it. I now have to wait two years to get a fresh start. I cried because I realised the pressure I had put on myself never to make a mistake.
Having made this mistake and being disciplined for it made me more aware of my speed and where I am driving. I would not want anyone else to be driving over the speed limit near a school my children go to.

How does this translate to art? Well art is all about making mistakes. Art is not about being perfect from day one. It is about learning through mistakes.

The only way my art improved was when I embraced the mistakes and worked with them. Erasers are the worst thing for an artist to have lying around. I am trying to teach my art and craft kids to not care about erasing a mistake but to rather take that mistake and work it into their work.

And that is the way it is in life. God doesn't save us from making mistakes but He uses these mistakes to help us learn from them and to grow into more mature and disciplined people.

In order for my art to improve I had to practice everyday. Everyday I made mistakes and instead of letting those mistakes discourage me I used them to improve and grow my knowledge. Playing it safe didn't do my artwork any good. By not allowing myself to make mistakes and expecting a standard of art that I had not spent any time practicing left me art stuck. I was unsettled with the level my art was at and I had no clue how to improve it. Until this year where I was taught A) how to see and B) to not care about too much about what I put down on paper.

We get better at life and whatever we put our hands to when we take a risk and do it and love it no matter how it turns out.

If you feel this is you, That you have been living the safe life and been in fear of making a mistake, then I challenge you to step out and do something small and just out of your comfort zone and if you make a mistake, embrace it and take another step forward. Mistakes are great. Make them and live life to the full. Making a mistake does not make you a mistake.

The Question

A few years ago a question was posed that I have been thinking about again in the last few days. My answer to this question remains the same now as it did then and I was wondering how others would answer it.
This question was asked on a Theology Forum Board and the other answers on there were surprising and revealing. I also got a bit of black lash to my answer even though it was an IF question and involved personal opinion.

The question we maybe ask ourselves more often than we think and maybe not in the exact words but the underlying question is still the same.

If it was prove 100% that God does not exist would you still hold on to your faith. Would you still carry on living your life as you do now?

My answer? Yes. I would still believe and I would still carry on my life, worshiping and praying, loving my neighbour, dancing and painting. Why would I give up my whole way of living that I have lived for most of my life?

Santa, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy and all the other imaginery people in our lives I know they do not exist (I am sorry to break the news to those that do not know this) but it doesn't stop me from surprising my girls at Christmas and having them write letters to Santa. It doesn't stop me from putting $2 dollars under my toothless child's pillow nor does it stop me from buying Easter eggs that apparently was laid my a rabbit the size of a human being (I think, the story changes from house to house)

If God is not real then I have the best imaginary friend in the whole world. An friend that teaches me how to treat others and who speaks o me and comforts me during the hard times and is always there, He causes me to be a better person. I will worship Him no matter if He is as real as the ground I walk on or just a figment of my imagination.

But my God is real. He is more real than you or me. We are His imaginary friends in a way because He created us and He thought us and all Creation up and spoke and created us.

What would your answer be?

Stop and Sense the Roses

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:8-9

This month is proving to be a very jam packed month. Both my husband and I are away at different times and what with work, the kids' school, painting assignments and conferences my brain is slowly filling up with knowledge.

Last weekend I spent two days learning to see properly. It sounds a bit strange but I learned so much. I see my world differently now. Instead of only seeing a tree I see pale and dark green and shapes of each leaf, the twist and texture of the bark and the shadows that fall and the light that illuminates. I see angles of a sloping roof and the different shades in a flower. I see the silhouette of a bird in flight in the blue sky and the sun shining as a silver lining of every cloud.

When I see a face I see the shapes and rise and fall of every curve. The windows of the face revealing the deep wells of the soul.

Light illuminates form and shows up the beauty of our world.

I can't look at the world the same way I did before. The best part is that by seeing in this way my sketching has improved so much.

You see by judging a book by it's cover we miss the story inside. When we look at an insect and we call it an ant it loses it's mystery. It is an ant and from what we have learned about them in the past is what they do and how they kind of hang out together in colonies and live under the ground. When we look at this creature and really see it for the first time we will notice fine details about that creature we never saw before.

We need to start seeing deeper and wider than we have been. We are missing out by glancing at the world and not seeing it as God sees it.

We are missing the very beauty of God's creation by our business and our narrow and lazy eyes.

What else are we missing by not stopping to be still? Maybe our ears are not hearing very well. We do not understand that hearing is not an external thing but an internal once. The sound enters into your ears and onto your ear drums and sends information to your brain and from you past your brain processes what it hears and send messages to your body. Just like food enters our mouths and we taste and it nourishes so does sound, vision, sensations and scents. They all send messages to your brain about your external world.

What could we learn from life when we stop and meditate or think on the pure. lovely, honourable, lovely, true and admirable. When we stop to see what God has done and hear His voice speaking over His Creation we praise Him and He will give us peace.

We rush around in haste and busyness because we do not stop see clearly. We are going full tilt into every area of our life but we do not stop to hear the sounds around us. We do not stop to see how our Father sees or hear what our Father hears and is saying to us. We don't feel the texture of the clothes on our skin until it irritates us. Until the nails hit the chalkboard and that high pitched squeal ensues we do not hear anything. Until there is a car high-beaming and we getting annoyed we do not see. Until somethings smells like rotten fish and assaults our nostrils we do not smell.

Why is it that we only take notice of our senses when we get annoyed or uncomfortable? Maybe it is because it is far easier to keep our senses of all that is pure and lovely so dumbed down that all we end up doing is complaining and being grumpy about our discomforts.

When we value our senses and the gifts that they are we will experience His Creation in a different way. A new peaceful way of living our lives where we actually live it and not go through it limited.

It is beautiful. Every inch of it. Don't let it go by in a blur. Stop now and sense the Roses.

Sacrifice

I moved over to New Zealand 8 years ago. I moved to a first world country and for some that doesn't seem to be such a sacrifice. When people think of being called to the mission field they think of China or Africa. We still have a TV and running water from the tap and other luxuries "real" missionaries don't always have. We even have a flushing toilet (for which I am most thankful).

Does this make me any less called though?

I do not know why God didn't just leave us where we were in South Africa and use us there. I do not know why He didn't send us to Africa and China (although we may still end up there in the future). What I do know is that He sent us here to New Zealand. We heard the call and we said yes.

We never thought we would ever leave South Africa. Why would we need to leave, we had family and friends there? We had just bought a house and were about to welcome our first child into the world. We were settled and serving in a church. A small part of us decided to leave because of the crime but a large part was that we heard the call from God to leave and go to the land which He was showing us.

Stepping out was difficult but at the same time it was an adventure. God had called us and I was eager to see what He was going to do in our lives. But it came with sacrifice. I had to leave my side of the family behind and my husband left his parents behind. Not being able to be there for your sister when she was expecting her little baby boy. Not being able to comfort your brother or sister when they are having a hard time and not being able to be physically there for them is a sacrifice. It is a price I had to pay. I live in a beautiful country with wonderful people who have been there for me through the hardest times of my life and have celebrated with me through every victory and milestone. I sacrificed the familiar for the unfamiliar. I need to make things work here whereas where you have grown up you know the history and you know those you have grown up with. But hey wherever I go I will always be a stranger in a foreign land. No matter how well I learn the language and try and blend in with accents and the way I dress I am still a foreigner because my real home is with the Father. This home is only temporary.

In New Zealand we have made many many friends. Served in a few churches and supported leaders and pastors and we are still doing that today. We lead our own homegroup and we are seeing God move in the lives of those around us. We are stepping out in new areas and overcoming challenges and giants.

There was a cost. There was sacrifice. There was heartache and even today as I sit here my heart aches for my family still in South Africa who have to go through things alone. But I hand it to God. He has the best plan for all our lives and right now I am where I am meant to be. Not in China or Africa... yet but here in New Zealand with a TV and running water from a tap and a flushing toilet.

Have you weighed the cost? Do you know that there will be some form of sacrifice that you will need to offer up? Are you willing to leave family, work, friends, whatever it may be to follow where He leads you?

Listen carefully to His call. When you hear His voice calling your name, take that step and in obedience no matter the cost. There will be people who will tell you you can't do it. They will think you are crazy but do it anyway.

There is sacrifice for now but God rewards those who diligently serve Him. He rewards those who have sacrificed and paid the price.

Nothing is impossible for our God. So follow Him with your whole heart, forsaking all others.

A Lot To Be Thankful For.

Psalm 118:24
This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.

I am so incredibly blessed. I don't say this to boast but rather to acknowledge what God has done in my life.

This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice in it. It is so easy to get discouraged or upset and angry and to have a bad hair day. I have had quite a few of those in my life. Sometimes I just want to be left alone to mope. When nothing is going right in my life and my health isn't too great and I am feeling out of sorts it isn't easy to be happy and enjoy my day. I just want to curl into a ball and go to sleep for a week.

But God! Again He comes and takes me by the hand and rescues me and sets my feet upon the rock again.
You see I had a revelation today as I was driving in my car and listening to my favorite Christian radio station. The verse Psalm 118:24 came up, "This is the day the Lord has made and I (we) will rejoice in it"

The first part got me. This is the day that the Lord has made. That means that today is special. It isn't just any ordinary day. It is the day that the Lord has made. If that is the only reason to rejoice then that is the best reason in the world. That God made today for me and He put me in today for such a time as this. By moping around the house (note I didn't say mopping, I don't mop, I shop) I haven't achieved anything joyful today. I didn't tell anyone about Jesus. I didn't smile at a stranger and have them smile back. I didn't extend kindness and friendliness because I was so busy being sour.

Still parts of me wants to just sulk and be miserable with the world but that is exactly where Satan wants me. He wants me to be miserable and ungrateful so that I will forget to count my blessings. He wants me to forget what God has done for me and he wants me to forget who my God is and how mighty and powerful He. The more negative I become the more I want to give up.

I love how God speaks to me. How He always finds a way to tell me how much He loves me and cares for me. He is aware of where I am and when I am far from Him He isn't very far from me.

So today, the day Lord has made in this I will rejoice.

Why don't you embrace today with me for what it is, a gift from our Heavenly Father. Rejoice me over the amazing things that will happen today and the amazing things He has done in the those days gone by that He also made.

I am coming up to 6000 views on my Blog! Even though I did not post last week the traffic to my Blog has continued and I am so thankful. Thank you all for your support.
I am thankful that God has chosen to use my paintings to bless others. I am thankful that He has made me to have a lot of unique talents and has made able to adapt well to anything He has asked me to do and to apply all I learn to every aspect of my life.
I am thankful that today He has laid this message on my heart to you and for myself.

If you are finding it difficult to rejoice today can I ask that you stop, take a deep breath and tell God that you are ready to hear from Him and that you are fixing your eyes on Him right now and off your situation. Then think of 2 things that have happened today that you are thankful for. It doesn't have to be big. Just that you had breakfast today and that you have clean clothes or that you are breathing and are able to come to God whenever you want. Start small and soon you will realize that this really is the day the Lord and you can and will rejoice and be glad in it.