But it Hurts Lord

James 1:2-4  2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.


This year has been full of trials, hurts and disappointments. I didn't know 365 days could hold so much pain and tears. Who knew that growth would actually mean there were growing pains and horrible achy stretchy feelings that would emerge. You feel like you just couldn't bear to handle another day of it. That if you are let down, abandoned, hurt and misunderstood one more time you may burst.

But you know what makes this time so strange is the many times I have called on the name of God and He came to my rescue. When I praised Him through all my circumstances and through all of my pain it really changed me. With the passing of a family member, I was surprised that I was even able to worship God. How was it possible to be so heartbroken and still sing? I even had joy. I had every reason to fall apart and crawl into a little heap but I chose a better way. It hasn't always been easy.

I can say with all honesty that this has been the most difficult and the most emotionally exhausting year of my life. There were times I have not wanted to read my Bible and I didn't want to sing or dance. I couldn't even summon up enough energy to put some music on. I had moments when I was so depressed sometimes for no apparent reason that I didn't even want to get out of bed. There were days I didn't really care to do anything. I am grateful to God for my 4 children and a husband who works so hard. Having a family to care for forced me to get up out of bed. When my husband was away for work, the kids were sick and there was no one to look after them but me, I had to get up.
They also make me laugh and bring me great joy. Even on the worst of days they are always there. He knew what He was doing. Yes my hands are full but God made sure they were full as well as my heart because He knew how much I desired and needed my family in my life.

I can look back on this year with so many feelings but one thing that sticks out the most is joy. Joy is not a feeling but a state of being. It defeats all odds and overcomes all emotions.

God came to me and answered me when I called on Him. The Holy Spirit comforted me in my deepest grief and despair. When I didn't think I could anymore, there was God before me, encouraging me and spurring me on.

I have endured and I have overcome. I possess Victory. I stand as tall and as straight as a Palm Tree through all of the storms that come my way because I belong to the Most High God. This year I have learned to praise Him through the good, the bad and the horrible. He has given me a new song to sing and I will sing it so that others may hear it and be set free.

Psalm 40 sums up this year for me.

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
    and he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
    out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
    and steadied me as I walked along.

He has given me a new song to sing,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
    They will put their trust in the Lord.

 Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord,
    who have no confidence in the proud
    or in those who worship idols.

O Lord my God, you have performed many wonders for us.
    Your plans for us are too numerous to list.
    You have no equal.
If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds,
    I would never come to the end of them.

 You take no delight in sacrifices or offerings.
    Now that you have made me listen, I finally understand[a]—
    you don’t require burnt offerings or sin offerings.

Then I said, “Look, I have come.
    As is written about me in the Scriptures:
 I take joy in doing your will, my God,
    for your instructions are written on my heart.”

 I have told all your people about your justice.
    I have not been afraid to speak out,
    as you, O Lord, well know.
 I have not kept the good news of your justice hidden in my heart;
    I have talked about your faithfulness and saving power.
I have told everyone in the great assembly
    of your unfailing love and faithfulness.

 Lord, don’t hold back your tender mercies from me.
    Let your unfailing love and faithfulness always protect me.
 For troubles surround me—
    too many to count!
My sins pile up so high
    I can’t see my way out.
They outnumber the hairs on my head.
    I have lost all courage.

 Please, Lord, rescue me!
    Come quickly, Lord, and help me.
 May those who try to destroy me
    be humiliated and put to shame.
May those who take delight in my trouble
    be turned back in disgrace.
 Let them be horrified by their shame,
    for they said, “Aha! We’ve got him now!”

 But may all who search for you
    be filled with joy and gladness in you.
May those who love your salvation
    repeatedly shout, “The Lord is great!”

As for me, since I am poor and needy,
    let the Lord keep me in his thoughts.
You are my helper and my savior.
    O my God, do not delay.

So today if you feel overwhelmed and like the world is about to fall down on you, remember God is always with you. It hurts but we have joy and a God we can worship through any circumstance.

Lord, thank you when trials come our way. Thank you for every circumstance that is brought out way to test us, grow us and strengthen us. Thank you Lord that you are always with us through all these things. Help us to fix our eyes on You and not the magnitude of our troubles. May we consider it a great joy when we suffer, when we hurt and when we overcome. Amen

Weakness and Strength

 2 Corinthians 12:9-11 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I cannot believe we are already half way through October already. Not long now and we will be attending end of year parties and celebrations. Enjoying family time and sharing meals with friends.

I always find that it is at this time of year that we reflect of the year that has been and look forward to the year ahead but most of all we look at the last few months of the year and wonder what it is we will be willing to take into the New Year. What are the things we are going to focus more on? What are the things we are going to change or do differently?

What I have learnt this year is what has made me the person I am today and that will be the person I will take in to 2015.

Things I have learned:
  You can have a whole year of emotional roller-coasters and because you have faith and trust in God you can come out stronger.
  You can try something new.
  You can create.
  You can love someone with all your heart after only knowing them for a short time.
  Friendships are important.
  Fellowship with other believers is God's greatest gift to us.
  Serving others is growing where you are planted but makes sure that if you are meant to be in the vegetable garden that you are planted there. If you are meant to be in a herb garden don't muck about thinking you are a water lily.
  Mental health is very important. It isn't very easy to get out of the Valley of the Shadow but it is possible. It is important to realise that we only walk through it, We should never sit down and try make ourselves at home. God has made us more than conquerors. We have the power to start off our day thinking and meditating on everything good and calling on the Holy Spirit to lead us through.
  Don't ever give up! Just tarry a little longer. Your help is just around the corner.
  It is not about the trials you go through but more about your attitude and how you decide to handle things that come your way.
  God has made every millimeter of you unique. Love all of it. There is only one you and only you have that one thing the world needs. Don't waste any of your life being a poor copy of anyone else.

It is also really important to go into a new year with a sentence summing up your attitude and goal for the coming year. Ask the Holy Spirit what it is that you need to proclaim over 2015. For me 2014 was about not letting anything get me down. I was going to overcome and shake off what was thrown at me. I am glad I spoke this over my life because it has gotten me through this year and every time I went through a hard time or an obstacle was put before me I remembered these word and drew strength from God.
The last two months have been very difficult and I have had to lean very hard on God to get me through. I could never have thought that this year would turn out as it has. There is no way I would wish this year on anyone. There were times I almost gave up. It was too hard to do it on my own. It was too much to deal with and it still is too much but I don't have to do it all on my own. I have trusted God and had faith. I have use His strength and have a new understanding of the words "For when I am weak, then I am strong"
This is not a strength that I have striven to have but a strength that has come out of weakness. It is a strength that is not tainted with pride or selfish ambition but the strength of a broken heart that has been strengthen only by an unshakable faith in God who is my only hope.

So to conclude I would really like to honour God and thank Him, praise Him and worship Him because He has been everything to me. He has gotten me through and I can see so much clearer. I thank God for every single trial He has walked with me. He has never left my side and I am so grateful that my faith, trust and hope are in Him.

Psalm 23

Psalm 23

I must apologise for not posting as often as I would have liked to. I still constantly hear from God and wish to write but life has thrown a few curve balls in the last few months.

I do not feel that I must stop writing or that I should have been writing through these hard times but I feel God has been using these things to grow me and stretch me and prepare me for something.

I love sharing what is on my heart and what God is speaking to me and I am always amazed and in awe of His goodness, faithfulness and grace.

What I have learned from this time is that the way you react to situations is one of the most important things that will define how you make it through stressful and unhappy situations.
There comes a time where you need to fight and war and push through situations but there also comes a time where you need to be still and know He is God. There comes a time where you need to rest and let go so God can work.

I have looked at my situations many times and said to myself 'I am really going through the Valley of the Shadow of death right now' but you know what it Psalm 23 says that even though I go through the Valley God is with me. He comforts me and guides me. I do not sit in the Valley, I walk through it.
God makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul and is leading me in paths of righteousness so that His name will be glorified.

There are times even now where I feel I can not handle anymore but then I look to where my help comes from. Jesus, my comforter and help. He has sent me Holy Spirit to dwell within me and to work through me.

When death came across my path and stole from me I rejoiced that my God was still on the throne and when I did there was this peace that came over me. My emotions are still there but in the very centre of my being there is peace. A peace that surpasses all understanding.

Some will see what I have been through and wonder how I can still praise God when all this year has been is a battle. Yes this year has been a battle but it has been so much more.
I have leaned on God through all of this. I have walked in faith and trust. I have faith that I can trust God to meet all my needs. He has blessed me with a new direction for my life. He has come beside me and given me dreams and visions. He is starting to move in the lives of those around me and I am able to relate to so many more people than I would have last year.

The next year I will be studying a Prophetic Art Course, painting, writing and visiting people. I am very excited for the coming year but I know it will not be without it's own challenges but one thing I am sure of is that I will continue to grow, learn and take each day a step at a time praising my Saviour all the way.

Fix Your Eyes

Hebrews 12:1-2 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.[a]Because of the joy[b] awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

I come face to face with the younger me. Often I look back and see the type of person I was growing up and I am so overwhelmed by the way my Heavenly Father has carried me and shaped me.

What would this little girl say to me today, what advice would I give her?

Just this. Fix your eyes on Jesus. Seek His face and desire Him and to do His will. Love Him with all your heart and embrace His love for you.

Life sucks most of the time but I know Jesus has my back. His love is trustworthy. His peace is endless. His Joy complete. Only He can satisfy me and never let me down and never let me fall. Fix your eyes on Jesus girl. Fix your eyes woman of God. You are a soldier in His army. You are brave and courageous.

Love with all your being. Speak out. Do not hide your light. Shine brightly without reserve.

When I fix my eyes on Jesus I can walk on water and brave the stormiest of seas. Thunder and lightning will not bring fear into my soul.

Over the years I have been through a fair bit of trials but they only got me under when I didn't keep my eyes on Jesus. When I looked to my Maker and Savior I was able to push through and endure whatever came my way. I now take every storm as a challenge. I go in thinking what I will learn, how I will deal with it and how will I come out. When I fix my eyes on Jesus I grow, when I don't I become bitter.

Today if you are in a storm or a situation you did not ask to be a part of just fix your eyes on Jesus. It may seem simple or it may seem really difficult but the more you learn to do this the easier it will be and the more you will long for His presence in your life.

When Nobody is Watching

1 Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 

Dance like no one is watching. How do you dance when no one is watching you? I love to dance when no one is around to judge how bad it is. I give it my best shot and I dance with all my heart. I sing as loud as I can whilst spinning around the house and shaking what the good Lord gave me.

Ok so sometimes I dance about with my little girls and my long-suffering husband who I am trying to convince to let go and dance. But there is something that happens when I am on my own and no one is watching.

When too many people or strangers are around I withdraw and become reserved. I am aware of what I am doing and very concerned about what others think of me and I get embarrassed.

Isn't this how we are in real life. We are so concerned about what others might think of us that we lose our courage and we stop being 100% who God made us to be. We scale back and instead of fully jumping in to what God created us to be we worry more about what others think than what God thinks.

Or we go the other way and try and perform to make ourselves look good when everyone is around but when we are alone we do not give God all the glory. Instead we think of new ways to promote ourselves. New ways to make ourselves look good and when it doesn't work and we are still the same person we were last week we feel like failures.

So I ask again. How do you dance when no one is watching? How do you live your life to the glory of God. If no one ever saw what you did except God. If no one every acknowledged how awesome you are how would you dance? When we dance, sing, worship, live, love, laugh. Do we do it to the full. Do we throw our whole being into it or do we hold back and are reserved.

Live your life like no one is watching. Like no one cares how dumb or awesome you look. Love with your whole heart and dance with all your being. God is so pleased when we worship with abandon. It delights Him to see us doing our very best and when we don't worry about what others think.

What could you achieve if you live life in this way? If there were no fear or selfish gain, how would God use you? 

So while you watch this music video I dare you to dance wherever you are whether someone is watching or not. Pray in public. Sing praises to your God. I see my daughter who is just 2 years old singing and dancing around in church. She dances like no one is watching. She can out worship just about anyone, not just because she hasn't got any hang ups but because when she does something she does not worry about how she looks but she does it because she is doing something she loves to do. 

Offer your whole heart to Jesus. Let your whole being rejoice and pour forth praise and worship. 

For more blogs click here

Exciting Things

Hi everyone,

I must apologise for being so quiet the last few weeks. I have been taking some time off to hear God and there have been a few family emergencies and other things that have cropped up.

I am changing my Blogging day from a Wednesday to every Thursday. For those this corner of the world (New Zealand) it will be late Thursday night and for my readers in the US it will be Thursday morning or there about.

In June this year I submitted one of my Blog Posts to Christian Mommy Blogger as part of a writing challenge. This has been published into a book along with other lovely ladies. So I am excited to announce that I have been published into and e-book which you can read at the bottom of this blog where it says Love Devotional. Alternatively you can click Here. I am on Chapter 12 if you want to have a nosey.

God is opening up doors for me in a few areas and I am very excited to see what is going to happen in 2015. It will mean saying goodbye to a few things *sniff* *sniff*. But do not worry my Blog will continue and I am thinking of writing a little book but that may take some time.

There is change just on the horizon and I am excited.

So until Thursday I pray you have a blessed week.

Role Models

Titus 2:3-5 3 Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.[a] Instead, they should teach others what is good.4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[b] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

I know we are all sick to death of hearing about the Titus 2 women but that is exactly what I am not only going to write about but what I am going to do and act out.

We can teach and preach about Titus 2 but if we aren't living it out then where are we? We are part of a society that teaches sex education, focusing solely on the physical but not speaking into the emotional, relational and spiritual aspects of sex and marriage. 

Telling someone they aught to love their husband and their children, to work in their homes, be good and be submissive to their husbands is just not good enough. We end up heaping guilt on these young women and imposing a whole list of things they have to do and not do. When they behave in a way that we deem inappropriate we bring in judgement. Now I am all for judging sinful behaviour in a loving manner. Say if you can clearly see there is a recurring sinful pattern that needs addressing do so in a way that brings conviction not condemnation. But what often happens is a spiteful almost condemning judgement over young women who have never been taught these things.

It has become a very lazy way of instructing young women. Simply pointing out the obvious does not bring change. We need to live by example. What good is our life if people aren't learning from our mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes but what a joy it is when we can save someone the heartache of pre-marital sex, falling for the wrong type of guy or going down the path of least resistance.

A lot of the time we judge because we have not dealt with that very same issue we are pointing at the other person for having. You think how much better you feel about your messy house because you just went to your friend's house and it is way way messier. You break out in a sweat and fear for your kids because you had pre-marital sex and now they are of that age and hanging out with this guy you don't like the look of. 

It is good to be concerned for those around us but it isn't good when our judgements are just that, judgements and finger pointing instead of loving instruction. Bringing hope to the youth of our nation that they need not go down the road we have gone down, that there is a way to stay pure and honour God. There is a better way and it is never to late to change. 

So today who can you be a mother to? Who in your life could use some good advice and encouragement. Men who can you be a Dad to? Who is out there who has no father or mother who needs to be taught that there is a better life for them and that their circumstances that they were born into and that they live in do not define who they will be and become? God has a much better plan for each of us and it is time we share that news. Don't sit back and complain about what is wrong with the world. Be a role model because we all need more good role models in this world. The ones on TV are just not cutting it anymore.

For other blogs click here