From the Heart

I have been thinking about a few things in the last week.
God has been speaking to me about so much in the last month and some days I feel I have something to blog about but really I just have to wait for more of the puzzle.

So today I am going write what is on my heart and how I have been feeling about my town that I live in and the people in my church.

Some evenings I look out over my town and I have mentioned this before in a previous blog but I must say again how stirred I am to pray. I just want to cry when I think of those lost people who do not know Christ as their Lord and Saviour. The world is looking for a Hero. The world is looking and searching for Jesus. Every individual is looking for Jesus. But they do not know it yet.

I look out over the Youth and the young children in our church and I see such potential. Girls and boys who are going to do great things for God right at the age that they are at.
Now when I see a young teen boy I see God giving them a steel rod running down behind their backs something to do with standing up straight for the things of God and not bending and swaying in the wind of false doctrines and the opinions of those who do not speak the truth. Teen Girls I see as buds in our church. When you look at a rose bush you will see that their is a main bloom and buds on the sides under the rose. We older women are to be sturdy rose bushes gathering our buds close and teaching them how to love, nurture and speak truth to others that cross their paths. Just as aphids and rain will come and try to attack the delicate buds we are to impart our wisdom to our girls so that they will not fall prey to aphids or be damaged by heavy rain.
The young boys and girls from the very little are like our butterflies and bees. They are the beauty of our church. So refreshing and delightful. They flit from flower to flower, always alert and soaking in all the nectar and pollen. They will make something out of what they gather and will take it and give to others. What they have learnt, will stay with them and will 'rub off' on to others who do not know Jesus.

On Sunday each of the teens in our church were given a prophesy. We had Ps. Don Lake and his wife come speak at our church and it brought me to tears hearing and seeing what God had in store for the Youth. I feel there is a deep passion for Christ that is going to bubble out of them and it will not be able to be contained. No lid or ceiling will be able to keep it under control.
Jesus is doing a new thing. He is bringing generations together in unity, different backgrounds and people of every race. We are brothers and sisters, daughters and sons, mothers and fathers to each other.

Romans 8 talks about there being no condemnation for those in Christ. It also says that if God is for us then who can be against us. It is a very good chapter and a must read for those lacking encouragement or for a new revelation of what it means to be a Christian.

If God is for us and we are not condemned the who, who can stand against us?

God is bigger than we will ever imagine and He has a million promises.
I am with you says the Lord, I will never leave you or forsake you, you are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus.

I pray that we will all have peace with this and take hold of these promises. Dream again and speak forth truth with the love and heart of Christ.

My passion is to see everyone ushering in God's presence in their own lives and into the lives of others. I cannot wait to hear testimonies of what God is doing in our lives and in those of others.

I pray that you will all see how much love He has for you and how much others need to feel that love. I am not talking about the kind of love we have for things but the type of passionate love that will break our hearts when we hear of one person who has gone from this world not accepting Christ as their Saviour, the same love that will feel like our hearts will burst when we hear of miracles, new things that God has and a new brother or sister coming to know Jesus as Lord.
Get on your knees and cry out for your town, city, country, world. Cry out to God. Intercede for your family, friends, strangers. Look passed their sin and ask Jesus to show you what he sees. You will never be the same again when you look at others in this way. Never! You will not be able to be in a crowd of strangers and not be overwhelmed with love and thoughts of them. Praying for them as you go and wondering who knows the Good News and how you can impact your world.

Bungy!!!

Bungy jumping can be a freeing and terrifying experience. I was thinking about it today and I think it really ties in to what I wanted to say about my experience over the last weekend when I went to EquipHer.

It was such an awesome experience. I went up on my own. Without my children or my husband. I went as myself expectant. I wanted to leave there equipped with a new understanding of who God is and what He has planned for my life. I wanted to leave there ready to step out. Ready to take hold of all that God wants to do in my life and in the lives of others through me.

What happened is that on the Friday night, the very first session, negative words that were spoken over my life, feelings of rejection, hurt, were broken. Saturday evening it was like a cloud had lifted off from over my head. I parted the heavens with my hands and there was and open heaven. The clouds of judgement and of expectations that I have not met, words spoken over me about not being good enough, GONE!

When I woke up on Sunday morning they were still gone. There was no ceiling of clouds left. Monday morning I woke up and they were still gone and the presence of God that I felt on the Friday night was still there.

Let me tell you I had to just about shake off these negative thoughts and stinking thinking and the heavy clouds placed on my head.

What does this have to do with Bungy Jumping? Well I feel that Bungy Jumping is a bit like what I am needing to do in my spiritual life. Just take that leap of faith and jump. Forget about who said what about you and who told you you can't do this or that. God said and that is that. Let Him be your bungy cord, your life saver, the only One you count on and just take that step.

We are all scared. I know I am. So very scared of what God has for me. But why? Why do we fear the future? We would rather sit doing the same groundhog day stuff than face ourselves and mirror and say 'There is more to life than this!' God has more for me, He called me before the world began, before I was knitted in my mother's womb. He knows me. He knows the me I was, He knows the me I am today and He knows the me I am going to become.

The core message over the weekend was to stop thinking in the natural realm but to think in the Spiritual Supernatural Realm. We are not of this world we are of Heaven. Our Spirits have been awakened and now we must function not in the flesh but in the Spirit.
The Woman at the well was so focused on the water in the well and the type of thirst that only this kind of water will quench and Jesus was speaking to her about Living Water (spiritual water) that if we thirst for it, Jesus gives it freely and we will not thirst again. The disciples then said to Jesus 'Come and lets eat' and Jesus said 'I have food to eat of which you do not know.

Imagine that. Jesus has the food and the water for us that is not like a sandwich and a cup of tea, okay? I will get hungry again and will get hungry again and thirsty again.
But the Living water and the Word of God will not leave us hungry or thirsty. Which come to the persuit of 'Happiness' Happiness like food and water is a temporary filling feeling. It serves it's purpose but it is not lasting. When we have no food to eat, no clean water and we are unhappy what is left? Rejoice in the Lord? Always! and Again I say rejoice. How can we do this? Through the Joy of the Lord. If we possess Joy we possess Strength!

Right so now that we have looked at ourselves we need to look at others. What Living Water and Words and Nuture are we sending out to others. There are so many poor in Spirit, yes poor in food and water but poor in Spirit too. What are we doing for others?

Which brings me back to Bungy Jumping. Are you and I going to put aside our fears, doubts and levels of temporary happiness and possess the Joy of the Lord and take that step. Jump and shake off these things holding you back.

I tell you now Satan wants to keep you on that ledge in fear and not taking hold of your future so he can push you off later into the deep end without anything to save you. He does not want you to rise up and awaken to the things God has for you because that will mean he is one step closer to his demise. He wants to make you feel safe and comfortable and fast asleep.

Sometimes as Christians we die to the old and put on the new and rise from the dead but we end up going back to the grave we were in. We are new creations still sleeping in our graves. It is time to get out of the grave, wake up and step into what God has for us.

Bungy! Do it literally or do it in Spirit but do it. Free yourself from everything that is you back.

You see when we step out in Faith God will not leave us wanting. He will come through for us. He is faithful. It is time we realize that much is expected of us and we will be used greatly. He will not leave us or reject us like others in our lives have done.

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20

Our spirits are eternal and will never die. We are not natural we are spiritual.

Christians in NZ website

Just a quick note to say that the website in my post last year has come to a halt because ning has decided to charge for this service. If anyone is keen to still be apart of a similar website let me know and I can see if I can start another one up.

Hopefully I will get a new post in tonight.

God Bless to you all
Tamryn

Stand!

Stand Firm!
Don't let your foot be moved an inch. The Battle is won by gaining ground. Do not turn back. Face forward. Clothed with the Full Armour of God. Pray. Read your Bibles. The Battle is not to come it is here and now!

This morning we happily got up and got ready for Church. We managed to get everyone into my car with enough time to get to there on time. So we headed down the hill. Suddenly the car swerved to the left. I stopped the car and saw a flat tyre. Wonderful! My husband then put the spare on, which is one of those pathetic little things. We decided to park the car in the garage and then take his car. What happened instead was the pathetic tyre getting a flat on the way up and having to get the kids out the car and roll the car back down a little and park it off on the side of the road. Now at this point we could just have given up about going to church. We were already late and it meant swapping carseats around etc. But we decided to go to church anyway. I commented to my husband that something really does not want us going to church.
I was right. The service really spoke to us and challenged us and God gave us a word to hold on to.

The last few months have been full of mishap and mayhem. My sister in-law has been having a rather hard battle with cancer and has broken her hip and arm. She has had a hip replacement now. She broken her arm which will not heal.
My Mother in-law has broken her arm at the wrist after a fall and a few weeks later broke her elbow after yet another fall where she was trying to protect her broken wrist. A few days after this my Nephew broke his elbow. He was going into have surgery the next day. I prayed like I never prayed before. 4 broken arms and a broken hip were not coincidences. The next day my nephew did not need to have surgery as bones had moved back into place. He now just has to wear a cast.
That week my Father in-law took a turn and needed surgery for a problem with his bowel that was caused by a problem with the way his appendix had been removed 50 years ago.
My husband has been working long hours for the last few weeks too and with my helping my Mother in-law out in any way I can and having sick children I have had to draw on every little bit of strength I had.

I am busy starting to go through the Full Armour of God. What it means. Why we need to put it on and how to use it.
I have felt the Battle going on in my life and in the life of my family in this time. Something is happening. The more I step out, the more uncomfortable I get and the more I itch to get moving to not be sitting around waiting for that magic day when everything will be just perfect for me to start serving the Lord. The more I claim today as the day the more I feel that there is someone shivering in their snake skin boots.
Making my life difficult so I will curse God and die. I have felt really low and upset a few times during this time. But I draw my strength from JOY not from happiness. Happiness is a temporary feeling. Joy is my permanent way of BEING. The Joy of the Lord is my strength.

A lot of celebrities are looking for that thing that will make them happy. Money, fame, the big house, fancy car, the latest thing or craze, the in fashion clothing, alcohol, drugs. People seek these things because they want to have a good time and be happy. They strive for personal happiness, their happy place. But what happens when all that falls away? What is left? A lonely, pitiful existence. It was all a fake life. Happiness is not a fruit of the Spirit. No one is promised a happy life.
Life is no picnic. It is tough. No one gets out alive after all. Ever since the fall of man life has been tough. We have been fighting against our fleshly desires, disease and decay. rot and destruction are woven into our core.

Joy. Joy is the answer. I can have Joy. It springs forth from the pit of despair. When I focus on God, when I draw close to Him that is when my Joy is made complete. When I am poor, when I live in a mud hut and ride a tricycle, when I am poor in spirit, when life is tough nothing can make me happy but I know that Joy will always be there to give me strength and press on to stand firm in times of trouble. When the clouds come in and it starts to rain and I do not know when the sun will shine again I can rejoice in the small things. It is more than just looking on the bright side. It is a way of life. I draw my strength from God's Joy. He is pleased with me just as I am today. Yes I have room for improvement but God did not choose me to be in His family today your yesterday or the day I committed my life into His hands. He chose me before I was ever thought of. I existed to Him before even the world existed. He knows me better than anyone else. I am accepted and loved and I had a purpose for my life before the beginning of time. If Joy doesn't not well up deep within your soul at the thought of God having a purpose just for you, having chosen you and accepted you as his child. just think of it for a moment :)
Do we really have a reason to worry? Do we really have to have this woe is me attitude?

From Joy we can draw Strength to get on with our day and our life. To push through when there seems like no way out. Happiness leaves too much of a hole to be filled and most friends of someone who has taken their own lives have said "But when I spoke to them and saw them last they were so happy"
You can look happy but still have a broken heart. Joy cannot be faked and is permanent and sure.

Stand Firm. Keep it up. You are doing a good job.

So much happening

I am so excited about what is happening in my life.

Things have by no means become easier and I still have my tough days and I still get grumpy and upset but the good days far outweigh the these bad days.

I am getting something put on my heart. I am yet to add definition to it but it is slowly taking form. God is giving me a heart for the lost.

I find myself stopped and looking out over my town (we live on top of a hill and can see for miles) people going home from work. Lights shining. What are these people doing? How are they feeling right now? Do they know my GOD? Do they feel his presence? How do they cope without Him? What are we Christian's doing with our lives? Our time? Our inheritance?

I stop and look at people's faces. Are you a Christian? What ales you? Do you need prayer?

Is God speaking to me to pray for this person or is it my own thoughts? How do I know if it is God and not just me thinking that God is telling me? Do I go out and lay hands on strangers for their healing on some whim? Is it God? God do you hear me? Do I hear you?

All these questions. I weep. I cry for these people who are filling their lives with things that do not matter. Crying out for help but not believing God is the one to help them.

It is like they are drowning but refusing the Lifeguard.

I feel more and more that I need to get on my knees, read my Bible, know God more so that I may know His voice and do what He is telling me without doubt. Without hesitation.

The time is now. No more when and if this and one day. NOW! Can we not see the urgency. Earthquakes, Tornados, Cyclones, Volcanos, Wars.... Flights delayed, lives lost. When are we going to rise up and stand up for what we believe. Why can we not see that it is not about us and our agenda. How we are feeling right now about how Christian we are has got nothing to do with what God has called us to do. He has chosen us for such a time as this! Not in 10 years time when life is simpler and we have a degree or have read the Bible cover to cover and God has finished His work in our lives and we have achieved some state of perfection.

No one is perfect let's face it. Sorry to say but perfection is our greatest downfall. We want to be the perfect Christian first. We spend so much time waiting for change, waiting for that amgic moment, the magic formula to be what God has called us to be. We hop from conference to conference soaking in God's word like a sponges but all we end up is soggy and smelly. No good to anyone. It is time now to squeeze out our sponge on the Nations of the world. All the disciples waited for was the Holy Spirit and out they went.

I have this very heavy feeling in my heart. I look around and think about these questions and I hold the keys but I have a problem I cannot put my finger on. Am I lazy? Am I ashamed? Shy? What makes me so apprehensive? We haven't got time for this. If we don't step out and obey God we are in deep trouble. Someone needs healing, someone needs to hear from God and here we sit in our cushy homes, our warm blankets, fridge full of food.... there isn't anything wrong with having all these things but there is something very wrong with having so much yet giving so little. We become a sponge and leech. Sucking the church dry and not adding to the Kingdom. Shame on us. You have been blessed with much. When do we stop consuming and start sharing our news. Instead we live as if we have not heard the good news. As if we have not been given the greatest gift ever. We go through our everyday without even mentioning to anyone that we are Christian without sharing the greatest story ever told. What is wrong with us. When a beautiful sparkling clear pond becomes stagnant it stinks. Do we want to stink or do we want to actually do something.

No one is guaranteed tomorrow so what are we waiting for? Tomorrow a soul will go to Hell or today a soul will be destined for Heaven. Which would you prefer?

I pray that God will help me identify this road block, this obstacle that prevents me from sharing my testimony with others. I want to recognise His voice and do what I am told. I don't want to miss another opportunity.

Seasons. Change!

Wow what an evening.

As with always when women get together it has to involve chocolate. We learnt how to make chocolates. Dipping dried fruit and marshmallows in chocolate and even making chocolate leaves. It was all very interesting and such a great idea for Christmas presents. So sorry family that is what you are all getting for Christmas.

God really speaks to you where you are. Kathy Monk spoke about checking your side mirrors and your blinspot, to keep looking forward because if you keep looking back instead of looking forward you will crash. Your past is behind us. Look out for those who are next to you (your kids and family) Sometimes things hit you from your Blindspot. Check your blindspot, deal with offences and don't dwell on them. And most importantly keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. Keep moving forward.

I have had some really hard times where I have taken offence over what people had said to me or about me. I have been on guard and on edge in new surroundings and so focused on what people thought of me. It has been a wound that would not heal and I felt any little knock from people would bump open the wound.

Tonight I have been healed from this and have learnt something very valuable. And I would like to add to Kathy Monk's word she brought by adding Give Way rules. I have been learning to drive and this week I passed my restricted license. I learnt about Blindspots, checking my review mirror and side mirrors before moving and making sure I indicate etc.

I have also had to learn who to Give Way to and when it is my turn to move forward.

"It is very important to know the Give Way rules. Otherwise, you may be involved in a nasty crash at an intersection. Giving way means that the road user you're giving way to (whether they are a driver, cyclist, pedestrian or any other kind of road user) doesn't need to stop, brake or slow down, swerve or take any other evasive action to avoid you."

We sometimes need to Give Way to people. Give people a break. No one is perfect. We are all human and have all offended someone along the way. We never have meant to do it. And we surely do not go out of our way to offend (I hope). Or if we do it is out of our own hurt and misunderstanding of who the other person is and what the other person is doing and how they think.

We may not understand why people do things and say the things they do but we should not let this interfere with the course God has set us on. We must not veer to the left or right. Once we have decided on our course we need to follow it through, give others right of way, yield to oncoming traffic and be patient.

We are all rushing around doing our own thing. Sometimes we just need to slow down on the roundabout of life Give Way to those on the right of us and slow down and look at what is going on around us. Sometimes we can be so absorbed in our own lives and what we are doing that we forget that their are others around us.

While I was being prayed for this evening, the lady praying for me said that it was as if I was always on guard. I have felt so very weighed down by these hurts. My mind has been so focused on worrying about what others think, when the next hit is going to come from and from where, that I have had no peace.
I am going into a new season in my life. Or maybe I had entered into this new season a few years ago when the first hurt hit my drivers door. But now it is only reaching it's peak, the clouds are parting. I can see the shore. Land Ahoy! Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes. I can shine again for Jesus.

God loves me. His Joy is my strength. He has a plan and a purpose for my life and all I need to do is focus on Him.

Though people will come and say things that will offend and hurt I no longer need to become enslaved to it.

I kept on feeling hurt that I was not apologised to. No one said sorry to me for hurting to me. But what does the Word of God say? Forgive others.

If Jesus waited for an apology before he forgave our sins we would still be in the bondage of sin. Thankfully Jesus did not wait for an apology even when His disciples fell asleep in His hour of need, When Judas betrayed Him, when He was beaten and crucified. He never asked for an apology. While He was on the cross in the state He was in and all He had already been through He cried out to God to forgive us.

We have been betrayed, hurt, bruised and broken and in our pride we try and make sure others know we are right and everyone else is in the wrong. Forgiveness is the key. If you are still talking about the hurt to others you have not dealt with the offence. You have not fully forgiven. When Jesus forgives He tells us He forgets it and it is as if it never happened.

It is like when your child has done something wrong and comes to apologise and you accept their apology and forgive them and yet years later they are still apologising for the same wrong doing you kind of feel that you aren't being taken seriously.

Jesus loves you and died for you. He has forgiven your wrong doings. You may feel unworthy, not good enough, not right yet to be called His Son or Daughter but God would have you know that He takes you where you are and He washes you clean and gives you a new heart and a new mind. Sets your feet on the Rock. He will never let you fall.

Don't wait until this or that criteria is met. Follow Him where you are right now. Who you are right now. He meets each of us where we are. We do not have to achieve some form of perfection first.

Open your arms today and ask Him to pick you up and mold you into His image. In the hands of the potter things are shaped and molded. Out of mud is created something beautiful.

About 2 years ago now 1st April 2009 I wrote about one of Brooke Fraser's songs titled As surely as the sun will Rise. Today I feel the sun has risen on my life. I have been in such a dark place the last 2 years. My heart has been heavy, my mind clouded. Tears bottled up within.

Tonight the tears came and it may take another week of it but by the end of this week the clouds will part the sun will rise and shine.

'Arise and Shine for your Light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen in this place.'

Wow God you are awesome. I just got this song in my head. I went and googled it to get the lyrics for the whole song and got the verse instead. Isaiah 60 speaks right to me this morning. what an amazing promise. I am blown away by God's grace and mercy.

AMEN

Update Time

Okay so it has been awhile. Hopefully life has gotten to a point where I can post more... maybe.

I feel God challenging me everyday to do something new and exciting.

Last week Sunday I had music rehearsal. I really enjoyed myself. It was so exciting to sing again for the Lord.
Today I started a Social Network for Christians in New Zealand. I did not start it for it to become very big or even one of the top websites. I started it for all the Christians in New Zealand who feel they need a place where they can talk to other Christians about their Faith and bounce ideas off each other and to encourage each other.
I have been looking for a NZ Christian site for awhile now and didn't find anything. There are heaps of American ones but I didn't feel like I could relate to them much.

The site has 4 members now. My husband, Mom and myself and one of my Mom's friends. I am praying that those who are looking will find it and join us. I have added two widgets. A daily quotes one and the bible on one year.
A lot of us want to read the Bible from cover to cover in one year but never get the opportunity so I thought it was a nice addition to the front page.


(Please note I have had to take this site offline but I am considering opening another one. I just need to consult all the options. Thank you for your support)